Dante, This river is freezing.

The souls will scream from the depths.
Of the river you've thrown them to.
The sharks eat their fill as your name
Sinks through their teeth.  their teeth.
Horrible and Honest they hold you to an oath.
You won't soon forget the frost of morning.
That you've stolen from their hands.
So that you may dine on bribes and fall
before the judgement.
The judgement, no mercy for those without honor.
No honor among theives. Your name through their teeth.
Your name through their teeth.
Should have cut their tounges and kept them to your chest.
Safe and sound, Safe from your truth,
Safe from the sound of their teeth.
Safe and sound.
You betray what you love. [17]

--------------------------------
Bethany, Meet The Maitlands.

They found us in the basement
Our last moments turn to ash
They will never love you like I did
So I burn the evidence and leave
I'll leave them chasing ghosts
They'll haunt the room circling your sheets
They will never forget, They will never die.
The odds we're beaten by the theives
They have brought to life what  they are sworn to kill
Never forget you, Never die.
Only in death is love truely immortal
[11]
------------------------------------------------
Blackbox on Mitch's plane

The mausoleum flies swarm the open casket
Where only the silence escapes
The poison of the blessing
All men controll their fate
From the ground to in the ground
Men control their fate
It is not my fault
Always the famous last words
Responsibility comes rarer then the wounds
Self inflicted and self assured
They hide their trophey's from the world
Keep their meaning hidden
as they whisper in the dark
Whispers in rooms where only silence escapes
They whisper in tombs where only silence escapes
The wounds betray the whispers
And men control their fate.
[17]
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Just a new free verse thing I'm trying.

Opinions and critique' is more then appricated; good or bad.

                                           P.L.A.

                                                      -Jake

Thankfully everything has been going well.

Beth and I have been very happy lately, and for that I cannot stress how gracious I am.

On a Downward Note.

Wrecked my car yesterday. :-/

It's not too terrible, I'm just glad no one was hurt.

Anyways, I'll do a real update as soon as I get a free moment.

                           Peace, Love, And Anarchy

                                                               -Jake

Currently Listening Cexcells By Blaqk Audio The Fear Of Being Found see related

    Good Evening.

After a year or so of seeming absense, I've decided to return.

I was never really gone. My entries just remain private, for my own personal sanctuary. 

Needless to say, a lot has changed. But rather then give you the in depth view of a yesteryear,

I'd like to just delve into the proverbial "Meat & Potatoes" of my life as of late.

• Ive been dating a wonderful girl named Bethany Marie Davies as of January 22, 2007.  And it is that very same topic that brings me to this forum once again.  These months have been well, needless to say; wonderful. She has filled me in ways I didn't think a girl could.  She showed me that there is a point to all this non-sensical angst, and pain one goes through in finding true romance.  But alas, to spite my best efforts, yours truely dosen't quite add up. I'm not sure as to our fate at this moment, but I don't think its going to go the way I'd like it to. I decided to come here because quite humbly, I have nowhere else to run.  I quit drinking, quit partying, quit any illegal activities I may have once indulged in, which inadvertently resulted in my friends quitting on me. I tell myself true friends wouldn't be so quick to run when the "keg taps" and to be fair, not all of them have. But I spend my nights in an empty apartment, without a single soul to talk to. Sure many of you are thinking "Dosen't she live with you?", A: Yes, But that dosen't mean she's keen to talking to me as of late. I've spent the last year trying to help as many people as i could.  I guess it meant getting stiffed on the rent, or getting things stolen from me. But you live, and you learn.  I know where my true friendships are now,  something very few of you can say.

• I've started college, something I never thought I would.  I'm majoring in Japanese with a Business minor.  It's not all it's worked up to be.  All school has done for me has solidified the beliefs I have had for the last 5 years; High School is bullshit.  If you're a high schooler and you've somehow managed to come across my little binary memoirs; remember not to sweat the small stuff, And never, EVER, let anyone there tell you what you should be when you "grow up". Taking advice from someone who ended up being a High School guidence councilor, would be like taking legal advice from a guy on death row.

I should have known better then to attempt an entry in such a state of mind. Truth is, I'm scared.  I'd do anything to stop this from falling apart, but its just like trying to keep a handful of sand, no matter how determined or hard you try, it's going to slip. And you'll have nothing but a few granules of a grander picture, and the callouses to keep you company at night.  I hate this.

  I'm sorry for wasting your time.

Hopefully a more cheerful update soon.

I'd burn alive to keep you warm.

Peace, Love, Anarchy.

I've come to a standstill in my life.

Not so much a standstill.

But I'm standing still, resting, figuring things out  and the world seems to move fine without me.  In the last month I've done nothing but let people down, hurt them, and confuse them.

And in the process of  it all  I've managed to let myself down, Hurt myself, and confuse the hell out of myself.

I need to figure myself out, I need to find out what part of me is making me do the idiotic acts I've done, and do my best to change them.

Salvo has really been a cool experience it's a cool job to do because it shows you how giving people are, even if some stuff is just random junk, it's a lot easier to take it to the curb then load it up and drive it somewhere.   People would bring in bags of new clothes from Aeropostale and American Eagle, for the sake of giving them.   It was a really nice thing.

I stole this out of Lauren Elizabeth's Xanga

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. Write down what it says: "A Desciple is not above his teacher, nore a servant above his master"
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? An Old Family Photo Album
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? Cabin Fever
4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 6:12
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 6:04
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? "whispers by Wayne Jones" 
7. When did you last step outside? Earlier todayWhat were you doing? Heading to the Airport
8. Before you came to this website [started this survey], what did you look at?Bass Tabs
9. What are you wearing?A Black Ramones Tee Shirt And Blue Jeans 
10. Did you dream last night? Yes
11. When did you last laugh? At my goofy sister in the car.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? Paintings, and old photographs
13. Seen anything weird lately? I saw a girl riding a horse on I-75
14. What do you think of this quiz? It can be interesting.
15. What is the last film you saw? Unleashed
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? A house for my parents
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:  I relive bad days when I dream.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Have people be genuinly better,  smile at a children, take the time to stop and enjoy the beauty around them
19. Do you like to dance?I love to, Ballroom,Swing, Break, I love it all 
20. George Bush:  Says "Don't mess with Texas" 
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Alexia Draven
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Xavier Alexander
23. Would you ever consider living abroad? It would be amazing.
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? "Ha, betcha didn't see that one coming!" 

-- Survey by x___surveys --

Fuck this Xanga,

Fuck You,

Fuck Everyone.

Don't EVER.

Be all smiles to me bitch only to pull something like you did,

Don't even talk to me

Your face is a curse on all those people who have had the displeasure to look upon it. Your name is a plague upon all those who've had to hear it.

I hate you.

Every last one of you.

But who am I kidding

I hate myself most, simply for the things that I've done.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Are you honestly happy?

DO I HONESTLY MAKE YOU HAPPY?

Right now I'm not happy,  I love you,  but I am not happy with anyone or anything.  And No one is happy with me.

Including you,

And I have no one to blame but myself,

I haven't deserved you.

Or treated like you should have been treated

--------------------------------------------------------------------

And I'm sorry Shley,

I was in the wrong.

Big suprise there?

Didn't think so,

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I'm through making promises,

I'm through hurting people,

I'm through trying to tell people the truth.

I'll just let them think what they'd like

I'm through with listening to people's problems when they don't give a damn about mine

I'm through fighting with all my friends.

I'm through, I'm done, I give up, -white flag-, TAP OUT, I'm broken, I'm done in.  I folded, what more do you want.

I'm through opening myself up to anyone,  I'm through with  this life I lead,

I'm not gonna be the same anymore, the world dosen't like who I am,  and to be honest neither do I anymore, I don't have the strength that I used to. I can't go around middle finger in the air anymore.  

So I'm giving up,  keep me around if you really want to.

But I'm selling Out

No More PLA, No More Stay Strongs, No More Fuck You's, No More opening up, No More Xangas, No More Myspaces, No more anything.

My life could be the absense of everything. And I could care less.

I give up.

                          Good Night World.

                                                           Jacob